I Owe Myself An Apology For Putting Up With Men Who Didn’t Deserve Me

You will never speak to anyone more than you speak to yourself in your head. Be kind to yourself.

Dealing with men who didn’t deserve me has led me to one thing: I learned that putting yourself first doesn’t mean selfishness, it sometimes means survival.

That’s the reason I want to apologize to myself first. Dear me, you let so many people walk over you and I’m sorry for letting that happen.

You let men in your life make you feel unsafe, unwanted and scared, make you feel ashamed, like you’re not enough.

I’m sorry that thought even crossed your mind. Love shouldn’t be hard. Love shouldn’t hurt. Love shouldn’t wait for approval.

Love shouldn’t make you feel unlovable. True love doesn’t question your worth or take you for granted.

You shouldn’t go out of your way just to receive a normal reaction from the person you love. Love isn’t silent or indifferent, it’s not aggressive or inconsiderate.

I’m sorry you had to learn your lesson so harshly. I’m sorry I didn’t protect you. I’m sorry I didn’t let you express your sadness and anger freely.

I’m sorry men who loved you didn’t truly love you. They never showed you real trust or what it’s like to feel comfortable just being who you are.

I’m sorry for letting yourself accept indifference and tolerance as enough. I’m sorry your kindness was mistaken for weakness and taken for granted.

I’m sorry I judged you when you were making choices that were not the best for you. I know you didn’t know that at the time.

I put all the blame on you. The same thing I have been doing ever since I can remember. But it’s not your fault.

Sometimes people don’t choose what’s best for them, sometimes they need to grow from pain. That’s all right.

Sometimes life can teach you to be stronger in the most unusual ways. Now, this is when I stop questioning why.

From now on, I refuse to look at myself as a victim. I refuse to look at myself as a casualty and someone’s second choice.

I’m not giving up on myself despite everything that has happened to me. Dear me, from now on I see you as a warrior and survivor.

You went through everything life prepared for you and you didn’t break. That’s called strength. Strength accompanied by courage.

You’re not anyone’s puppet and you never will be. You’re not here for men who try to control you.

You’re not here for men who manipulate you and lie to you, who make you feel bad about yourself and don’t make you a priority.

You are not here for men who don’t deserve you. I own you an apology for trusting others more than yourself; for doubting you and ignoring your intuition.

I own you an apology for letting you make yourself smaller in front of a man who didn’t deserve you.

I owe you an apology for not believing in you and doing things despite knowing who you are deep in your soul.

I own you an apology for thinking someone is better and smarter than you. That’s BS! You are perfectly smart, lovable and good on your own.

I owe you an apology for always thinking you’re somehow less than others when you clearly did everything on your own.

I owe you an apology for feeling bad about other people’s wrong choices. You couldn’t have done anything.

Don’t ever forget all the wonderful things about yourself. Stop comparing yourself to others. Everyone’s imperfect and everyone’s paths are different.

Don’t lose hope for love because of men who mistreated you. Let the past go and accept my apology.

One day, you will meet a man who will treat you with the respect you deserve.

There will be no painful silences, no playing with your feelings or lonely nights filled with doubt and pain.

There will be you as you are and the person who loves you because of that.