THE DURATION OF A RELATIONSHIP DEPENDS MORE ON EFFORT THAN LOVE ITSELF

I’m slowly realizing that love isn’t the only ingredient in creating a relationship. 

It is a necessary element, but not the most important.

Someone can love you and treat you like less than nothing. Someone can love you and make your life hell. Someone may love you and hurt you more than you ever have before.

Someone may love you and be the wrong person for you.

Little by little I realize that it takes a lot of things for a relationship to be balanced, to prevent it from becoming unbalanced, one-sided. Both parties should expect to do an equal amount of work. Both parties should love with the same strength and try with the same strength.

I slowly realize how much I have let others get away with over the years. I’ve always been the person who worried the most, and I’ve never thought twice about it. I let others step on me. I let people take my kindness for granted.

I gradually realize that I have to change my standards for my future. 

I cannot continue to accept that people treat me badly. I can’t keep someone just because I love them, when they don’t give me what I deserve. I can’t continue to have toxic relationships when I deserve so much better.

I gradually realize that the minimum of effort is not enough. It is not enough to text me without making plans to see me in person. It’s not enough to invite me to a restaurant if it’s to look at your phone all evening. It is not enough to tell me I love you without proving it with the way you behave in my presence.

I slowly realize that words are only half of the equation. 

If someone swears they care about me, but their actions never match their words, then they’re not worth my time. He is not worthy of my love.

I deserve more than someone who cares about me only in theory. Someone who thinks he can take without giving anything back. Someone who wants everything I have to offer, but who won’t take a second to think about what I might like.

I gradually realize that the efforts go beyond the appearance. It’s about wanting to be there. It’s about putting words into action.

Little by little, I realize that efforts count as much as love. I’m gradually learning how useless it is to be content with a relationship with just one of the two.

I gradually realize that I don’t demand too much from the relationship. I am not too picky. My expectations are not too high. All I want is effort. And the right person will be happy to make them for me.