The Worst Way Each Zodiac Tries (and Fails) to Flirt in May 2022

Aries: March 21st – April 19th

When you like someone, you tease them. You make fun of their clothes and their hair like a little kid on the playground. Sometimes, you accidentally come across as mean instead of playful and then your crush assumes you want nothing to do with them.

Taurus: April 20th – May 20th

When you like someone, you pay too much attention to modern dating rules. You overthink how long you should wait in between texts. You stop yourself from liking too many of their posts in a row. You don’t want to look desperate, so you accidentally stop yourself from being real. From being yourself.

Gemini: May 21st – June 20th

When you like someone, you like their Instagram posts. You text them to say good morning. You send them selfies. You flirt with them online but you never do it in person.

Cancer: June 21st – July 22nd

When you like someone, you come on a little too strong. You talk about the future a little too early. You mention marriage and kids. You double text. You accidentally come across as clingy when you’re only trying to be authentic.

Leo: July 23rd – August 22nd

When you like someone, you will try to make them jealous. You will flirt with their best friend. You will talk about the celebrities you have crushes on. You will accidentally cause your crush to think they don’t stand a chance with you.

Virgo: August 23rd – September 22nd

When you like someone, you pretend your feelings aren’t there. You lie to yourself because you don’t want to get hurt. You end up treating your crushes like friends and blurring the lines between you.

Libra: September 23rd – October 22nd

When you like someone, you put extra effort into your appearance. You dress up when you know you are going to run into them. You post Instagram pictures you hope they’ll find attractive. But the problem is they have no clue you are doing all that for them. They have no idea you are trying to impress them specifically.

Scorpio: October 23rd – November 21st

When you like someone, you pretend to have an interest in whatever they like. You’ll listen to their favorite music. You’ll watch their favorite shows. You are only trying to appear supportive but you come across as fake.

Sagittarius: November 22nd – December 21st

When you like someone, you flirt a little too aggressively. You tell suggestive jokes. You make a million comments about how attractive they are. You accidentally make it seem like the only thing you are interested in is sex and give your crush the wrong idea.

Capricorn: December 22nd – January 19th

When you like someone, you play hard to get. You take forever to answer texts. You cancel plans with them. You ignore them for days. Instead of appearing mysterious, you just end up looking like an asshole.

Aquarius: January 20th – February 18th

When you like someone, you wait for them to make the first move. You might make eye contact with them from across the room. You might even smile at them from time to time. That’s your whole idea of flirting but to everyone else it only looks like you’re being friendly.

Pisces: February 19th – March 20th

When you like someone, you stalk them. You become obsessed with them. You learn everything about them from Facebook and Instagram and Snapchat. Instead of approaching them and having an actual conversation, you admire them from afar.