What Your Argument Style Is, Based On Your Zodiac Sign

No matter how solid a friendship is or how blissful a romantic relationship can be, sooner or later you’re going to argue. No two humans are perfectly compatible. After a while, one of you is going to get annoyed at or feel underappreciated by, the other.

This is how arguments start. And if arguments aren’t handled productively, one cruel word or one angry outburst can ruin a relationship that up until that point was filled with happy memories.

When arguing, it’s best not to attack, get defensive, or shut down. These tactics will make the argument worse and may push it to the point of no return. Remember—the goal is to reach a happy resolution, not to “win.”

The following summaries describe how each zodiac sign approaches arguments and how they can steer them toward peaceful resolution rather than lingering resentment.

Aries

(March 21-April 19)

The Ram is a fire sign ruled by Mars, the warrior planet. This makes you competitive and prone to fighting. You will fight to the finish and refuse to compromise. You care less about being factually or morally correct than about appearing to have “won.” This may be good in boxing and martial arts, but it’s destructive if you care about maintaining friendships and keeping your lover from leaving you. While arguing, you will often resort to insults and low blows. This could leave scars that might never heal. Next time you find yourself being drawn into a conflict that could ruin things, take a deep breath and ask yourself whether it’s worth it.

Taurus

(April 20- May 20)

You, the Bull, are a fixed sign, which means you can be so stubborn that it can be counterproductive in an argument. Despite your name, you are not a bully, but you will bullishly cling to an opinion once you’ve formed it. Your stubbornness means that you are likely to stonewall your partner, meaning you will just shut down and refuse to either argue or resolve things. This is not a good tactic. Research has shown that stonewalling—i.e., refusing to even engage in either an argument or a calm discussion—can be far more toxic to a relationship than criticism, defensiveness, or contempt. It will also drive your partner crazy, so if you don’t want to drive them crazy, try to calmly find a resolution.

Gemini

(May 21-June 20)

You are a mutable air sign ruled by the planet Mercury, which is why Geminis make the best writers and speakers. You hate to argue, but you don’t mind rationally discussing any problems your partner may have. You prefer to avoid arguing, but if you feel pushed into a conflict, this is when you will use your advanced skills of persuasion and start throwing words at people as if you were hurling knives at them. This is where you have to be careful—if you deliberately debase your partner or friend, they may never forgive you.

Cancer

(June 21-July 22)

Because you are one of the more emotional signs, you are both empathetic to your feelings and those of the person who wants to draw you into a fight. This leaves you at a tactical disadvantage—you can care too much about hurting the other person’s feelings, even if they don’t care about hurting yours. Because you are such a deeply feeling person, you are more prone to making emotional arguments than logical ones—which often results in you being wrong about matters of fact. Another thing you tend to do that can destroy a relationship is when you try to guilt-trip your partner. If they mean a lot to you, don’t ever guilt-trip them. It’s like injecting them with poison.

Leo

(July 23-Aug. 22)

A Lion who’s a fixed fire sign that’s ruled by the sun? Does it GET any more aggressive or confrontational than that? You are confident—sometimes overconfident. You are eager to jump into conflicts and never shy away from a fight. You are not very keen on listening to others’ opinions, no matter how calmly or rationally they’re expressed. While these are all admirable traits if you’re trying to win a war, it’s always a mistake to view friendships or romantic relationships as wars where someone wins and someone loses. That’s not friendship or love—that’s sadomasochism. If you want to keep your friend or lover, dial it down a bit, will you? Admit when you’re wrong.

Virgo

(Aug. 23-Sept. 22)

The Virgo is a mutable earth sign governed by Mercury, the messenger planet of communication. You tend to avoid conflict for the most part, especially when it involves cruelty. You rarely lose your temper, raise your voice, or hit below the belt. Rather than belittling your adversary, you prefer indirect, underhanded insults and passive-aggressive comments. Your biggest argumentative flaw is that you get too defensive. Don’t get me wrong—it’s good to defend yourself when someone is attacking you. But what if they’re right? If they’re right, listen to what they’re saying. If they’re being rude, try to ignore that part and just focus on the substance of what they’re saying—at least if you want to maintain the relationship.

Libra

(Sept. 23-Oct. 21)

You are an air sign that is ruled by Venus, the planet of love, beauty, and harmony. Out of all the signs, you are the first to say “Can’t we just get along?” when a conflict starts to break out. You can see both sides of an argument and love to compromise above all. You tend to avoid drama and fights. However, if you feel that you’ve been treated unjustly, you will jump into the ring with both fists flying. This is why your friends and lovers would be wise to never take advantage of you—once you start defending yourself, they don’t have a chance.

Scorpio

(Oct. 22-Nov. 21)

The Scorpion is a fixed sign ruled by Mars, the planet of action, aggression, and war. You like to fight, and you also like to come prepared. There’s nothing wrong with this by itself—but you should be careful never to start a fight, only to end it. Don’t let bad moods get the better of you to the point where you start taking it out on friends or lovers. Let them take the first shot, and then it’s fine to knock them out with one punch. I’m being metaphorical here, of course; don’t punch them, because that’s illegal. But by letting your friend or lover know that you will devastatingly defend yourself, they will be much more hesitant to ever pick a fight with you again.

Sagittarius

(Nov. 22-Dec. 21)

You are symbolized by the arrow, and although you are hesitant to use it, you will shoot it directly at your target and swiftly disable it. You don’t let much bother you, and you definitely won’t get into any fight that you know you can’t win. Your innate sense of wisdom makes you realize that arguing is usually for fools—unless the matter at hand is important. You like to keep things respectful, but if someone goes low, you will as well. You are slow to anger, but once you get angry, it’ll take a long time for you to cool down once your emotional radiator overheats.

Capricorn

(Dec. 22-Jan. 19)

In an argument, you are very logical, but also very self-righteous. It often comes off as coldhearted and cruel rather than angry. Sometimes it seems as if you just don’t care when a friend or lover is pouring out their heart to you, which can be emotionally crushing for them. You also tend to be passive-aggressive rather than directly insulting, which sometimes makes people want to slap you. If you truly care about preserving the friendship or relationship, try not to be such a snide jerk. Try to even pretend that you’re listening. Try to just act as if you see their side of things.

Aquarius

(Jan. 20-Feb. 18)

You are a drama-averse sign who’d rather solve the conflict than win. You will hear what the other person has to say and admit if they’re right or if you’ve never looked at it that way before. You try to stick to facts rather than appeal to emotions, but you do it in a way that doesn’t seem pompous, cold, or intellectually condescending. If you criticize the person you’re arguing with, it won’t be a cheap insult but instead focus on how they aren’t equipped with evidence or haven’t studied the topic. Of all the signs, you are an absolute delight to argue with.

Pisces

(Feb. 19-March 20)

You are a lover, not a fighter, and it breaks your heart when your special someone seems angry or hostile toward you. Generally loving and conflict-avoiding, you are rattled when a lover or fighter seeks to spar with you. Because of this, you tend to shut down at the first sign of any looming conflict. Don’t do this. It will only make the other person push the matter harder. It will make them feel like you don’t care about listening or solving the problem. Gently explain to them that this isn’t the case at all, only that you don’t like to fight. If they seem angry, kindly ask them to calm down and explain why they’re hurting. This is crucial because anger is an emotion people use to save face and mask the fact that they’re hurting.