Why You Keep Putting Up With The Bare Minimum, According To Your Birth Month

January

You think you can lead by example. When they see what a hard worker you are, they’ll feel motivated, right? It’s a nice–and naïve–idea. It probably hasn’t worked though. If they wanted to change, they would. All you’re doing is putting in all the effort while they skate by with the minimum.

February

You’re blinded by love. People you know have been hinting that your partner might not be everything you think they are, but you just don’t see it. Unfortunately, your urge for the perfect love story is keeping you from seeing the truth. Maybe you should start listening to your friends.

March

You try to pretend that you like it. After all, you long a bit of independence in your relationships. You figure that you like this better than being with someone who’s suffocating you. There is such a thing as too much communication. But you know there’s a happy medium, right? And you deserve better.

April

You like to be in charge. Dating someone who’s a little more passive is like a godsend to you. You can make all the decisions, choose all the restaurants. But you might be starting to realize that your partner is getting a little too comfortable, like if you stopped texting them, you’d never hear from them again. And you’re probably right.

May

They’re exciting. Honestly, you’re not very likely to fall for the bare minimum. The only thing keeping you with someone like this is if they’re keeping you on your toes. You bore easily and don’t mind getting rid of people if you start losing interest. If you’re holding on to a bare minimum man, there’s got to be that x-factor keeping him in your bed.

June

You’re afraid to hurt their feelings. Even if you know you’re not a good match, you’ll be afraid to say anything. You don’t want them to feel bad, so you’d never dream of calling them out on their bare minimum behavior. So you reason away the bad connection in favor of not making waves.

July

You worry that you’re just as bad as them. You’re not always down on yourself, but when you get into a depressive mood, your self-talk is abysmal. You see your partner’s lackluster behavior and think that must be what you deserve. Hey, don’t listen to that negative voice that tells you you’re not good enough.

August

You think you can change them. Honestly, you think you can change everyone with enough needling. You’d rather get them a bulleted list of ways to be better than to just accept that they’re not all that into you. You can’t fix everything, though–nor should you. You deserve someone who doesn’t need all the extra work.

September

You’re too afraid to do anything about it. This self-limiting fear keeps you stuck in lots of moments in your life, including being with a partner you don’t see an actual future with. That indecision is wrecking you.

October

You believe that it’ll all work out. Sure, they might not be putting much effort in now, but who knows what tomorrow will bring? While the optimism is admirable, some things just suck. Assuming this will change doesn’t actually make it happen.

November

You feel bad for them. You’re naturally a very empathetic person, which means you sometimes value other people’s feelings over your own. So you reason away their bare minimum behavior because of their depression or stress from their job. When all is said and done, your happiness means something, too. Don’t forget it.

December

You’d prefer to focus on the good they do. You’re the type to argue that “bare minimum” is perfectly good enough. It’s in the name, after all. You like to see the good in people and feel like it’s unfair to complain when they do have some positive things to offer. Everyone has flaws. Hey, as long as you’re happy.